On My Sleeve

I don’t wear my depression on my sleeve
Maybe because I’m old
And my generation wasn’t taught to flaunt or parade
what’s considered our “weakness”
We’re taught to smile
Put on a brave face
Keep our heads up
And keep going no matter what
Don’t let anyone know you’re dying inside
It’s unbecoming

So I don’t wear my depression on my sleeve
I don’t announce it on social media
I don’t tell my friends I’m going through it
Or what I’m going through
Until after the fact when I can just
Turn it into a “success story”
Of how I beat depression again
When I have never really won
I may have won some battles
But I am always losing the war

Still, I don’t wear my depression on my sleeve
I revert back to what I know
Put on a brave face
Smile
Pretend that you’re OK
Eventually you will believe the lie

I don’t wear my depression on my sleeve
I just show it to you
Because I know no matter what
You’ll never leave
No matter how ugly and dark
You’ll be there
You will not flinch
You will not move

Today I wear my depression on my sleeve

But only for you.
You’re the only one I can be my dark ugly self to.

Also read: New Poetry Book Centers on Poet's Bipolar Disorder